Reasons I'm a good mom:
1. Despite a "bit" of effort, I take Annika swimming at the rec center. I go regularly to do laps and put her into kids care. (2 hours for $2 bucks!!) I try to also go with her now and then to get her happy and comfortable in the water. Goodness knows that John won't teach her, not being happy and comfortable there himself.
So, today, I took her. She loves, loves, loves the water. She'll joyfully and fearlessly jump into my arms, ready or not and doesn't mind going under. However, sometimes, instead of jumping towards me, she runs the other way. Me, still in the water and 6 months pregnant, I get to "hop" out of the pool and chase after her. I must say, I'm still pretty limber for 6 months preggo.
This is all fun.
But...
Then we go to shower and get cleaned up. Too stressful to write about, seeing as how this is the "i'm a good mom" list.
2. I read books with Annika
3. I sing and dance with reckless abandon and absolutely no inhibition. She likes to sing and dance with me. I think I'm teaching her great things.
4. I pretend to be surprised when she "scares" me dozens of times a day. In a row.
5. I feed my child.
Reasons I'm a really bad mother:
1. I was angry/frustrated this morning after the "shower and clean up" part of our swim date. It may have been apparent to my sweet but screaming child. The child who kept sticking her hands in the toilet. And screaming for Daddy to let her out of the family changing room. (Daddy was at jury duty, which is not held at the aquatic center.)
2. My child is watching "Monster's Inc." right now, instead of reading, dancing or singing with me. I put it on on purpose. So I could write this.
3. For Halloween, I'm making my child wear an itchy tiger costume that I bought at Costco. It has a bulky tiger head hood that doesn't look comfortable. My main thought is, "too bad, it'll get dad and me some candy."
4. I laugh, sometimes, when she falls down. (I check for injuries or genuine sadness, first. She usually doesn't care at all.)
5. I don't make homemade wheat bread. I don't own a wheat grinder. I don't want to own a wheat grinder. In time of famine, I'd rather rely on my food storage full of granola bars, canned peaches and bisquick. (Actually, I make pizza dough and french bread, but they are made of deadly white enriched flour.)
6. I'm not a budding photographer and I take crappy, blurry, poorly lit pictures. I don't like the JC Penney, etc. photo places and am currently not paying for an expensive photographer. So, I can't portray our life in "Pushing Daisies"-style technicolor, like someone else's blog I recently saw. No one will ever mistake our family for a GAP ad.
7. I don't want to use the free Disney Princesses toddler bedding we got with our toddler bed. I really don't want to. So, I'm not going to and I'm going to spend precious money on different bedding and not teach a lesson in frugality. And, I didn't buy Sleeping Beauty. (Why do the fairy godmother's hide her for 16 years and then use magic, which has been off limits, on her 16th birthday, alerting Maleficent to their whereabouts on the exact day of doom?)
8. I forgot to be cooing and lowing softly to my unborn son. But, I think he knows that the horn on the bus goes "beep, beep, beep."
I could go on for a while, but the reasons get less sarcastic and more disappointing as I go.
On a different topic, but one that came to mind between the Monster's Inc. previews and the scathing commentary on Sleeping Beauty:
Why is Beast's castle full of objects that used to be servants, but there are no parents? It says he's been this way for 10 years or something and he's only got till his 21st birthday. What kind of "beautiful" enchantress curses a little kid for thinking that the hag at the door might be dangerous? She was.
And, who makes his "beast" clothes? And, did they have any dishes and furniture before the servants all turned into these things?
And, most importantly, because I actually love this movies dearly, did they ruin the magical moment of Beast's return to humanity, but making him a girly-man? Seriously. He has a deep, masculine voice. Let him keep it. He's buff. Let him stay buff. He's got dark hair. Let him stay brunette. He's almost as pretty as Belle is by the time he's done. Yuck.
Last topic. Our friends have a ridiculously cool, over the top Halloween party every year, where you actually have to dress up and you can't be lame about it. Last year we went as David and Goliath. No one knew who we were.
So, in an attempt to be obvious, I'm having lots of fun making the gaudiest, sparkliest and toothiest tooth fairy costume. I'm making a tutu that sits below my 6 month pregnant belly, a wand with a big, sparkly tooth on top, a sparkly, foil crown with sparkly teeth all over it. I will have floss and tooth brushes artfully incorporated and maybe some quarters.
John will wear his pjs (bought specifically for this costume and for upcoming visitors to our house.) He will black out his front two teeth, carry a teddy bear and blanket. He will be anxiously awaiting my arrival.
I have high hopes. At least I'll be glittery.
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4 comments:
Are they cowboy pajamas? Just kidding, sort of. Maybe next year John can be the tooth fairy and you can be the little kid. By the way, I learned how to make a really easy tutu at enrichment the other day if you haven't already made yours.
Thanks for the smile!
PLEASE, for the love of all that's holy, take the "I don't make my own wheat bread" item off the "bad mom" list and put it on the "good mom" list!
Time away from your kids = time away from your kids (not my quote -- blame Sarah the just-passed-the-bar wonder woman). Doesn't matter what you're doing in that time: laundry, baking, cleaning.
And I don't make my own bread EITHER, and I'm a good mom. So there.
Libby, you are very wise. However, if I was tenderly stroking my daughter's hair and reading her scriptures or Moliere or barnyard books or Calvin and Hobbes or anything, then, yes, bread would be a distraction. But, I'm more likely to be reading your blog.
You might want to have some wheat in your food storage, for "just in case". Bisquick and flour both have relatively short shelf-lives, whereas wheat is good almost indefinitely.
You know me well enough to know I am not a great housekeeper, and most days our dinner consists of something like pasta with Prego or chili from a can or scrambled eggs. So I'm not the type to castigate you for not baking your own bread daily.
But just for the peace of mind, you might consider investing in a wheat grinder and some wheat. Just a one-time purchase, throw it in the garage, and then keep chomping on the granola bars. (Or if you're me - keep chomping on the Halloween candy, that, oh, yeah, I was supposed to be saving for trick or treaters - whoops).
You are an amazing mom, Cynthia. Your kids are really, really lucky.
p.s. Hi, Libby!
p.p.s. I love to read, but I fall asleep when I try to read out loud to my kids. You would think that if there was one thing I'd be good at, as far as mothering, it would be reading to them. But not so much.
p.p.p.s I'm thinking how fun it would be if the trials were all held at the town pool, and the defendant could sit in a little booth suspended over the pool, and if they were found guilty, the hinged floor would drop out from underneath them, and they'd fall into the water with a big splash, like a giant dunk tank. Wouldn't that be awesome? I would totally show up for jury duty!
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