So, as the Laurel advisor, I've found that I've not agreed with everything thats been said by the parents or by a particular rule, etc. This means lots of tongue biting. I keep almost blurting out, "WHAT!!! Are you kidding me?" And I haven't yet, and I'm so proud of myself.
Case #1:
One girl's mother doesn't let them ask out boys. It tells the boy that the girl is already interested in him, and thus, is a girl of loose morals and ready for deflowering. (I added the deflowering part, putting words into mother's mouth, but I think I might be accurate.) So, if the girl isn't asked to a dance, but has a good friend in the ward who might like to go, she can't ask him.
Case #2:
At New Beginnings last week, which was lovely, one of the camp directors (girls camp) gave a quick overview of somethings that the parents and girls needed to know about: time, price, rules, etc. And, I quote, "And, like last year, we can wear capris, but not shorts." WHAT???!!! I really, really almost blurted that one out. If I was one of the young women (looking at me, I know its hard to distinguish us) I totally would've said it, and loud.
Camp. Summer camp. Swimming, playing, hiking (pants good on this one), water balloons, shaving cream fights, swimming, coming back from swimming, going towards the swimming, and just basic hanging out. Crafts, first aid, swimming. NO SHORTS!!!???
So, as you may notice, this is totally mind boggling to me.
I don't even own capris.
I've been to summer camps that weren't with church and 6 years of girls camp. The other camps had boys, who probably assumed I was loose because I wore shorts and may have initiated a conversation with them. But, this is GIRLS camp. All girls. And they have to wear capris?
Did anyone else have this experience? They said that last year, it got to 100 degrees. Again, I say, NO SHORTS!!! You can wear shorts at BYU, mutual, school, home, my house. And camping? What the hey?
Someone, please help me understand this. And don't be trite!
I'll just be here wearing my daisy dukes until camp starts. (I was considering volunteering to go, if they needed people. Maybe I'll keep my mouth shut.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
*Grrr* on both counts. My tongue hurts and I'm on the other side of the continent!
I can picture a stake having a knee-length shorts rule — I'd think it was extreme, but I can picture it — but capris?
And as for asking boys out...sheesh. This is one of my pet peeves, and it's an argument I had with any number of (lonely, bored and possessing of overly romantic ideals) girls when we were in our twenties. Like teenage boys are going to get the courage up to ask the girls out? Please.
The mom should let the daughter's at least ask the boys out today (Leap Year Day), sort of the traditional Sadie Hawkins day. This is the one day where it is OKAY for the girl to propose marriage, so why not just a date???
As to the shorts, I have heard of that rule. I think most wards allowed shorts a while ago, but then there were some that didn't want the Daisy Dukes. It became easier to say "NO shorts" than to have a huge definition of, shorts can not go higher than two inches above the center of the knee cap or must be the length of your fingertips touch when arms are hanging down. They may have also had quite a few injuries of slivers in the girls buttocks from sitting on logs.
A combination here of the two, I knew a mom who did not allow her daughters ever to wear shorts but capris were okay. Her reason being, they would not have to get a new wardrobe or get used to no shorts once you go through the temple. I think this was a bit too much, and that you can wear shorts that work with your wardrobe after the temple.
Lastly, my uncle had a rule with his older girls while in high school, they could not date the same guy two times in a row. If a guy wanted to go out with his daughter a second time, he would have to encourage someone else to take her out before he got his next chance. I see the reasoning, not wanting his daughters to get too serious too soon. With his last two daughter's the rules slacked and they did find themselves in too deep. So, I guess you have to find the rules that you think are the best and stick with them (but not be too stiff to bend and adjust when needed).
So I totally side with you on the shorts issue. However, some things to note:
1. Ricks has a no shorts policy amongst other very, very stringent rules.
2. If shorts are allowed, the girls might show up in daisy dukes. OK so probably not that short, but short enough that they might "offend" someone. (Which is silly b/c everyone there is a GIRL!).
Ah, well. Of course when you've got ugly legs like mine, capris are the only way to go!
As for asking boys out, I asked out Warren on the first several dates/outings and I'm pretty sure he didn't see me as "loose". Maybe the mom is more concerned that it makes her daughter look desperate??? If you want to ask a good mormon boy, why should your mom complain? She should be happy you picked a good one!
Having been a boy at dances, it would be more special to me to be asked by the girl vs her MOM! As for the clothing, church dress code is anything above the knee is unacceptable at church activity(Especially for YOUth). I can see why they would say no shorts, but really? Are we too lazy to say nothing above the knees, and ENFORCE it? sheesh! I have been to some girls camps, as the assigned priesthood holder, where they have had shorts, and as long as it's appropriate length, who cared?
Sorry I'm so late coming to the conversation.
I worry that these kinds of rules will push youth out of the church. They will decide that the church is just a bunch of outdated, arbitrary, overly restrictive, silly rules. Who needs that? Once they're on their own, I suspect a lot of them will just go their own way.
I wish we were better at helping everyone develop a real relationship with God, feeling, recognizing, and acting on the Spirit, finding purpose and meaning in life, fulfilling our God-given potential, serving and loving the people around us. The gospel can be a blessing, but the way it's being implemented - maybe not so much. What a waste.
Post a Comment