Have any of you ever seen the SNL sketch, where Kevin Nealon is "Mr. No Depth Perception"? He passes the casserole and dumps it in someones lap. He pours the water into the casserole. He knocks people over, because they are closer than he thought, he yells so the people right next to him can hear him. At the end of a dinner party, he goes outside, and drives into the living room.
I haven't done any of those things, but I think I have pretty limited depth perception. I've always been a little (a lot) clumsy, usually bumping into things and bruising myself slightly. I don't park the car very well, much to John's amusement and confusion. (And mine.)
So, today, after walking into the open dishwasher door for the 3rd time, I pondered the reality that I might not be clumsy, I might be able to blame it on a neurological dysfunction. Pretty convenient that I actually do have a neurological dysfunction. (I think I'd rather just be clumsy.)
Anyway, I just thought I'd comment on my realization that depth perception, or lack of it, may explain my many bruises and stifled cursings. (But, yesterday, I really, really, really wanted to.)
I'm not sick anymore and I did sing at enrichment. We had a fancy sit down dinner, the elders quorum served us, there was a dessert buffet, and then we had a program, "Women of the nativity." I was the shepherd's wife. I gave a "dramatic" description of my account of the nativity and then I sang, "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains." It wasn't my best, but I was told it went well. I got to dress up, too.
I don't like the chestnuts roasting song.
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3 comments:
I don't like the "Chestnuts Roasting" song either. I also don't like "I'll be home for Christmas". Well, you have an excuse for all of the bumps and bruises. I can't claim anything other than being clumsy and distracted. I tend to trip over my own two feet a lot, as well. Thanks for the blog entry. I'll try to add to my soon.
hmmm. . . I have issues with stationary objects as well. It greatly entertains my friends and roommates. I'd claim some neurological disorder, but I don't think I've got one. Nobody has to know that though. Everybody that sees the family picture always pick you out as my sister so we might be able to fool people into thinking it's heredity. Fortunately, mine hasn't progressed to the advanced stages you currently display. I do fine parking cars.
For some reason you mentioning you hate the chestnuts roasting song reminded me that I hate "As Sisters in Zion." It's so syrupy and everyone chooses it to sing in Relief Society when they need to come up with a song to sing quick. C'mon - there's over 300 other choices, why not choose one of those? Although, several of those also make me want to gag. . .
Yeah, that one too. And my grandma doesn't like Go Forth with Faith. Not that she doesn't like faith. Its just a goofy song. I like Master, the Tempest is Raging, but only if you go really fast. Not very reverent, but fun.
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